Hmm.. I seem to have had a bit of a break. At least I'm over my cold now though.
I'm off to Christchurch next week to a conference, and to visit Steve & Lynne's new church. I'm really looking forward to seeing what kind of place gained in our loss!! (yeah, I know, in the Kingdom of Heaven it's not really theft, but hey...) I better be careful not to sound ungrateful about the provision God has made to Graceway in their place. I'm really appreciating Mark (find his story here, courtesy of MootBlog).

I'm just about to embark on a job that I never ever wanted. 9 months ago I applied for a new job, with more responsibility, to be assistant head of department, and was enjoying it immensely until my head of department told me he was leaving. Now I've counted the months, I'm quite amused. It has taken that time to prepare, grow, train, strengthen me, for the new new job I'm about to take on. My head of department is going to finish, in 3 more days, and we haven't been able to replace him. I find myself thrust into the position, short term (till the end of the year), until it is a better time to advertise. I surely hope there is someone just waiting for the vacancy to come up again, and also that my boss isn't right. That in the meantime I won't actually find I enjoy it, and want it after all. All I can see at the moment is the stress combined with a larger burden of responsibility than I've ever desired, ever. I guess time will tell. I'm certainly going to (need to) be ever more aware of the enabling and comfort and refreshing of the Spirit of God.

I've got my fourth cold of the season. So so so sick of feeling under the weather. Tonight I have a truckload of work to do, and I've just given up. I can't think clearly enough for the tasks I need to do.

However, I am back on my repaired laptop. And it was utterly painless setting this one up - the wonderful techo just imported my profile off the loan one I've had for the last 6 weeks, this time. It seems as good as new! I'm so impressed!!!!

Yesterday, my Head of Department gave me the best postive reinforcement that anyone's given me all year. I'll spare the details, but the result was a real boost in confidence. Why do we find it so so hard to build each other up, usually? Why does it seem so much easier to tear down? If we all cherished the way we feel when someone else encourages us, surely we'd be all out to do the same for others? Then again, it seems to come really naturally to some. One step at a time, that's all I can manage!

I think it's been over a week since I blogged. There is some uncertainty in my employment at the moment, and I'd been confiding in a close friend, as one does. I was gutted to be told that some of it had been passed on to others. It feels wrong somehow, in a friendship, to have to define stuff as "personal", when to me it seems obvious. I've pulled in a bit, and stopped sharing. So I've been a bit sad.

My lappie is back from the lappie-fixers all fixed. This means that for the 4th time in a month i'll have to housetrain a new computer. I didn't set up all my little bits and pieces this time.. couldn't be bothered, knowing I'd only have to repeat it all again anyway. It's a bit sad when your desktop feels like "home"!!!!

Oh how hilarious. Some of my ex-students just won a national video competition. The National Nude Week competition from a Sports/chat TV show! They did a spoof on LOTR. Of course, that's not nearly as cool as having taught NZ Idol!!!!

Been playing a bit in Ship of Fools' internet Church tonight. Haven't had much luck getting in as a "real" person, but on occasion I can visit as a 'ghost'.

Tis interesting reading about others' experiences, and I saw this article on XtraMsn, about rude people crashing church and being obnoxious. Takes all sorts, eh!!

Yay... my eyes have been feeling really tired and gritty, and today it occured to me that maybe it was because I was spending too much time in front of the computer, and reading (reading The First Man in Rome, by Colleen McCullough at the moment.. and it's ENORMOUS), and just maybe it would be good for my eyes, not to mention the rest of me, if I got out and went for a walk. Making my eyes do some work on the horizon, flexing the farsight muscles. I ended up down at the waterfront, where the sun was blazing down, and there was fresh sea breeze and fresh sea smell. I stalked a kingfisher, as it was looking for fish.


I found myself thinking about the people who have been mentors and caregivers to me over the years, being the examples of a loving God incarnate, of a loving friend, of a loving father and mother as well. I am grateful to all of them for the examples they have been to me, and the love and care they have shown me. Some of them I'm still in touch with, others I've lost track of, while some have died. I like to think that the person I am today is better for having known and been cared for by them.

By the time I got home again I felt that many of the cobwebs had blown away, and that in spite of going for a walk by myself, that I wasn't alone. The love of these people walked with me. The love of God surrounds me.

This is important right now, as a time of great change is coming. I find myself having to take on much much more responsibility at work than I want, and must find the endurance and wisdom from the resources I have stored away for such a time. I need to grow more patience for dealing with difficult people, and I need to be more sensible about getting enough rest and about how I structure my days so that I fit everything in. I need to know when it is time to say "no more". I need to work smarter not harder, and I need to learn how. It'll be an interesting journey.

I don't feel like there's been much to blog about this week. I went to see Troy in the weekend, and enjoyed it more than Van Helsing the weekend before. I find it really interesting that there seems to be a major renaissance of epic/mythological/historical movies at present. Arthur and Alexander are both coming up soonish. Is this part of "our" search for "belonging" or "roots", or is it just a giant capitalisation on a perceived "good thing"?

What a funny old week it's been. Tuesday, after that really late night (I'm getting too old for this working late at night on assignments bizzo. Why do I do it to myself??) it was a manically full day. By the time I'd listened to a lecture in our Professional Development session (which I'd have found fascinating at any other time when I could stay awake) been to a meeting during lunch and after classes, and supervised a full on practical assessment, I was SOOOO ready for the massage I had booked.

A friend came round for dinner that night as well. I hadn't seen her since her wedding day, and actually still haven't met her husband other than for about 5 minutes at their engagement party. He has a night class on Tuesdays, and she works out my way, so it worked out nicely. I've been sad to lose touch with her so much since hubby arrived on the scene, but that's the way stuff happens sometimes. Some friends are just as good at being in touch, and others just simply move on to "his" friends.

The week has only got better, really. I so enjoyed my classes today. Watching my seniors make discoveries about the chemical world as they work their way through an individual investigation is quite special. It's so nice to see them becoming a little more independent. And they come up with the most hilarious problems for me to solve for them. Like one guy. Came up with a mortar FULL of raisins (the rest of the bag got slowly consumed when they thought I wasn't watching) to ask if I could think of an easier way to grind them up. Ummmm... have you thought about doing LESS at a time??? DOH! Nope, apparently that hadn't occured to him at all!!! Ever tried grinding raisins?? VERY sticky!

By the time I finished my assignment and handed it in online at 12.30am this morning, I was well and truly fed up. Yay for NZ Idol giving me something to smile about during the evening. Also spotted Rachel and Regan in the Herald yesterday. You go guys!!! Nice showing on the late news as well!
Meanwhile, gotta go earn a crust.....
Tired, so so tired...

Wow!!! Can't believe it. I have a computer working acey pacey, an extension for my assignment from last Monday to this, tickets for the Blues vs Highlanders Rugby match, and got a parcel off to my niece in Canada for less than $20. Seems a lot to send Rashuns across the whole wide world, but needs must!

Now, though I actually have to DO the assignment instead of just thinking about it! Sigh...!

A spiritual bypass?
Found this really interesting article in the current Listener. David Young, the writer, talks about the rise in Maori Spirituality/Ritual in contemporary society (with things like dam blessings, karakia at opening of new buildings and relocation of animals or birds by DOC), while at the same time Pakeha spirituality/ritual has become something not "of our culture".

He says: "In a book to be published later this year* I suggest that many Pakeha have had a spiritual bypass. As more and more have found the church's message less pertinent and voted with their feet, we have met Maori religion ñ which owes much to 19th-century missionary work ñ coming to meet us through the foliage overgrowing the back path to the church. But with what do we greet them?"

and: "But what Pakeha cannot offer and Maori still can is ritual, rooted in tradition that belongs entirely to this land. I suspect that most Pakeha are not comfortable with ritual and have been relieved to be able to shuck off the worst of the formalisms of the societies that our forebears left behind. Yet there are times when rituals that are grounded in this landscape and are of this time are needed. For the most part, however, only Maori seem to be able to fill this gap."

I'm going to be interested in what the book says when it comes out, and in the churches response to it. I wonder if, in the emergent church, some of the answers are already growing in an organic way?

Ha!!! So, it turned out to be the Sassy Sasser worm, which I would have been protected from if the lovely techies had downloaded the windows updates when they were setting up the computer, but ah well. It didn't take tooooooo long to rid it, and at least I got to them first! By the time I left their office they had a pile of about 7 other laptops, which all had it too! I certainly didn't feel bad at all. Mind you, I did spend quite a bit of time last night downloading every update in existence. Things are still a little slow.

And tonight, I christened my fondue set. I was too young (and my parents not young enough), to have had that phase in the 70's or 80's or whenever it was they were trendy. All the recipes wanted kirsch, which of course (because I wanted it NOW), none of the "locals" had, nor cherry schnapps, so I settled for cherry brandy. Ah well. I always wanted a pink cheese fondue! So yummy, tho. We had Two Paddocks reisling, which was delicious, even if it's hard to find. My friend and I had been looking for it (it's Sam Neill's vineyard) for a while, so I was pleased to find it in time for her birthday.

And so, I eventually picked up a new "loaner", and spent a couple of days setting it up the way I like it.
Desktop of boiling mud, from the trip last week.
Imported all the favourites and the address book (haven't been able to access the dbx files the techies saved from outlook express yet tho). Installed the couple of essential programmes I can't live without.
And then, this afternoon, a week to the day since I killed the last one, this new one turned up its toes and died.
Dunno why? One minute I was reading the Herald online, and the next it wouldn't let me load any new pages, and I got an error message when the email went to check for new mail. And it's gone unbelieveably slow and started throwing up some very peculiar windows. Hmmmmm, virus, thought I. Ran the scan, ran stinger, nothing. I give up. It's back in its case, ready to hand back to the techies on Monday, and I'm back to square 1. At least I haven't lost anything, though, yay.

It's rained relentlessly all day. It's been dark and dismal both inside and out. I usually don't mind the rain, but today it just seemed to echo how I felt.

Oh yay!!!
Our techies are just wonderful. They're my favorite people today. Charles managed not only to extract my hard drive from the casing, but also to download all my files. I spent all afternoon backing them up to CD!! It will be a week or two before I get my own 'puter back in it's new case, but my mind is at ease, now all the stuff I foolishly hadn't backed up is safe:) Been waking up an hour earlier each morning.. this morning it was 3.30am, tho I didn't have the same sense of panic, as I'd had earlier in the week. Was quite a peaceful contemplative time, even if I'd rather have been asleep.

Graceway met in the cafe across the road from our usual hall last night. The hall wasn't available, and in spite of it being Anzac Day, & it being a war memorial hall, the two didn't seem to be connected. We decided that it looked like they were doing some digging out back.
Anyway, the cafe owner kindly stayed open an extra hour for us, and we clustered around tables and talked about intercession and then did some. It was great. My friends prayed about my computer (sadly there's no cure for terminal stupidity, but we make the best of what we've got!) and about the reaction at work today.
So, it seems that our wonderful technicians just MIGHT be able to copy my stuff off the hard drive, but they're going to try that tomorrow. They've also come up with another temporary "loaner", so that's brilliant.. I get that tomorrow too. The bad news, of course, is that I'll have to pay out lots of $$$ for the insurance excess, cos it was deemed to be "negligence". Ah well. The files are the bit I'm most anxious about. I know I'll be able to laugh about it sometime, but not just yet.
I got a great email today, tho, that just might describe my next data storage device:

This is our new IT strategy ñ all laptop computers will be disposed of by August 2004 and all desktop computers by July 2004 as a part of the ongoing cost-cutting in the Educational sector. Instead everyone will be provided with an Etch-A Sketch. There are many sound reasons for doing this:

No boot-up problems
No technical glitches keeping wok from being done
No more wasted time reading and writing e-mails or playing games on line
No more worries about power cuts or power spikes
Budget savings on upgrades unparalleled.

Frequently Asked Questions from the Etch-A Sketch Help Desk

Q: My Etch-A Sketch has all these funny lines all over the screen
A: Pick it up and shake it

Q: How do I turn my Etch-A Sketch off?
A: Pick it up and shake it

Q: Whatís the shortcut for Undo?
A: Pick it up and shake it

Q: How do I create a new document window?
A: Pick it up and shake it

Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same colour?
A: Pick it up and shake it

Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it

Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it

Q: How do I save my Etch-A Sketch document?
A: Donít shake it

Q: How do I photocopy an Etch-A Sketch document?
A: There three alternatives, but on no account shake it

a) Place the Etch-A Sketch on a flat surface, turn the photocopier upside down on it and press Copy (Hint ñ you may need to completely remove the ìlidî from the photocopier first)
b) Get a digital camera, photograph the Etch-A Sketch document, process it with your favourite bit of photo-enhancing software and print it. (Hint one: depending on your photocopier v printing costs it may save you a bit of time and money if you just print the required number of copies anyway. Hint two: If you do not have access to a digital camera you could use an ordinary one, get the film developed and printed and then scan it into the computer. Hint three: Since the Etch-A Sketch original is in grey and white you donít need a bubble-jet or colour laser to copy it.
c) Grab a piece of tracing paper (remember that?) trace the image and then copy it (Hint: if you canít find tracing paper maybe the Domestic Science /Cookery (Sorry ñ Technology Food) teacher has some grease proof paper (remember that?) that you can use.

(Please note: These hints are redundant anyway because your laptop and desktop computers will not be available in the last quarter of this year)

Q: What is the difference between FAQs and Fax?
A: With FAQs, since it ends in ìsî it is therefore plural so you get more than one (see the explanation for marking Unit Standard assessments). Fax should more properly have been spelt Facs since itís short for facsimile. So because Facs ends in an ìsî itís plural too so the conclusion is that FAQs and Fax are equivalent.

IMPORTANT: This e-mail is intended for the individual addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humour or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this e-mail is not authorised (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas.

Unless the word ìabsquatulationî has been used in its correct context (and youíll need a very good dictionary to look it up in) somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and can be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this e-mail, although the Kelpie next door is living on borrowed timeí let me tell you.Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading the backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft.

However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. If you have received this e-mail in error, please add some nutmeg and egg whites, whisk, and place in a warm oven for 40 minutes.

The clear hard light of day reveals only that the lappie is still dead. Not that I expected any different, but there was always that vague hope. After I stopped pacing around the lounge I decided I may as well try and get some sleep. After all, I wasn't going to improve matters any. I kept waking up and remembering some other file or document or email or whatever that was probably going to be irrecoverable. I am shocked by how stupid I was. Both for the accident to the machine itself, and for not having backed up enough. And I guess I'm a bit surprised at the feeling of grief and loss. And what on earth am I going to say at work tomorrow????

In fairly major crisis mode...
Have been away for 2 days with senior high school students, doing a chemistry field trip... Have driven for hours and hours, and I'm really tired.
I've just managed to spill about 100mL of softdrink on my laptop, while it was on. This was bad enough, but then I put it by the heater to dry out, and hoped for the best... (after all the lights went out). Next thing, I smelt burning plastic. Now I've fried the bottom of it as well. I don't know where the hard drive is, or if I'm likely to have lost absolutely everything that was on it. I'm a tad on the distraught side. (To put it mildly) The lappy is leased, and I suspect I"ve been exceedingly foolish, and not backed up enough stuff.. Feeling extremely distressed and almost hysterical.
Oh, and just to top it all off, the cat then sicked up (both ends) on the carpet.
Excellent.

I'm sooo glad I stayed home this afternoon, otherwise I'd have missed a visit from a special ex-flatmate and her wriggly 9 month old daughter. It just went to prove that my lounge isn't toddler proof. It did, on the other hand, mean that I found a home for the Minnie Mouse I have had since I visited Disneyland when I was 11. This is a 1m tall Minnie, so a maxi-Minnie, really. She's mostly sat in the top of the wardrobe in my old bedroom where I grew up, since then - until my Mum moved 2 years ago, anyway. It was funny - the toy was taller than the toddler. This was a mostly unloved (by me) Minnie, cos she wasn't the original one we bought. The original was stolen out of my carry bag before we even got out the Disneyland gates, as I recall. When we went back, they didn't have any of the wee cute ones left, so I ended up with the ginormous one, and she was just not the same!

Meanwhile, the tenacious toddler tailed the cat with endless patience and no frustration (other than that of the cat) to be seen. Apparently she doesn't understand that it's not a game, yet, and that actually the cat is running away deliberately, not teasing. I wonder how long this will last? She tails her own family dog in the same way - up and down the kitchen for up to 20 times a go. So innocent, and yet so jolly determined!

Mowing the lawn is very satisfying. In thinking back over the years and years of lawnmowing I've done, I realise it is symbolic for me of "place" and "belonging". The way, when you mow the same lawn over and over, you get to know where the dips, the just-buried rocks, the soggy bits, the low branches are. You see the house from a different perspective (and I still remember the time the lawnmower put a stone through the lounge window, when I was very young. It inspired years of checking the front lawn "thoroughly" before mowing). I've mowed with a hand mower, a reel mower - one once that was as tall as me and ten times as powerful, when I worked for Grasslands at the DSIR one summer - a 2-stroke, a 4-stroke and, in London, an electric whiney thing. All of them produced the same fresh-cut grassy aroma that I smell today.

Only quite recently, I learnt that it is better for grass if we don't trim it as short as short can be. Why is this? I've had to break the habit of a lifetime. One of my colleagues said that if you left the grass a bit longer, the Onehunga weed (with it's nasty prickles) doesn't grow well. That's good enough reason for me. Apparently the grass is healthier, too, and grows thicker. This seems like a catch 22 - surely you'd have to mow more often, but in practice, I've found not. I'm no turf expert, that's for sure.

At the moment, the lawn is about all I am succeeding with in my yard. The garden is a tangled wilderness, though it does still produce a series of nice flowers throughout the year. I've never enjoyed gardening, but mowing, now that's something I can manage well.

Well, here I am, then.
The first page of a new book.
Or whatever you call it in cyberspace.