Phew!

At last, a bit of a slower pace...
It snowed on me in my travels, in spite of it supposedly being the height of summer, and then this morning it hailed!
I had enough time yesterday to finish putting together a cool-as bead angel I was given quite some time ago...

Took my mother and our 96 year old ex-neighbour out to look at the lights last night. We started at the house where I grew up - never seen it looking like this before!!!

so good to be not doing much at all!

Finally

... Yep, finally, nearly 2 weeks after some of my friends, I have finished school. I was so determined to be out of there today that I was up until 2am working, and then, after not really being able to sleep, back at it again at 7.30 this morning. But, at last, at 4.45 this afternoon, I did the last task that HAD to be done before I could leave. There is, of course lots more that I didn't do, but it can and will have to wait. I need this break. This has been one of the hardest working years I have ever known. At the same time it has been challenging and stimulating, but I'm totalled now. Illustrated vividly by more tears at the end of last week.

What am I planning for the summer? Well, it seems to get shorter and shorter all the time - I have to be back for a 2 day intro for the last course in my diploma, which is sure something I could live without. And I have to be back at school a week before everyone else. But other than that, the bit I'm looking most forward to is a week at a beach. Not the same beach as last year, but just as nice by all accounts. I'm looking forward to the long long evenings strolling along and collecting shells and driftwood.

Boy's toys...

My brother cracks me up. He is the epitome of playing it close to the chest. He's off this weekend, to run the Kepler Challenge Mountain race for the 17th time. Last year was a really slow one (11-ish hours to do the 64km), so he joked at Christmas that this year he'd be going for the most improved time. So I wished him well in his endeavours. What do I get back but an email, not about the mountain race, but about the trip down the West Coast to get to the mountain race, and how he was going to have the most improved time for that. How come?
Well... I had to

look in the rear view mirror:

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no, closer... in the wing mirror:

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and then gaze out the front, at the beast disappearing into the distance:


So, apparently he won one of the limited edition Ford Falcon XR8's with personalised All Blacks number plates. Someone remind me again why I don't buy Lotto tickets??

How long....????

It's always the oldies that I go back to when times are tough, as they are at the moment.

Every cry is a song
Every song is a prayer
And our prayers must be heard
To fill the air

Help us make peace
Amazing grace, Morning has
broken, Imagine, Trumpets, Knocking
on heavens door, in the garden,
Forever young, No woman no cry, Ag
criost an siol, Open up, open up,
open up the doors to your heart, You
might need somebody. Thank you
for letting me be myself again.

I'm looking forward to "being myself" again. Dunno when it's gonna happen, still can't see past the next 2 weeks. In fact, at the moment, I'm lucky if I can see past the next hour. A couple of good people have popped out of the woodwork yesterday and today, to fill the vacuum of isolation and speak love to my broken spirit. After these 2 terms, I don't think I'll ever be the same "me" again. I've learnt a thing or two, some things that I never really wanted to learn, or see. Some has been rewarding, some has been very disappointing. I hope I'm a stronger person when it's over.

Fame

How sad it is when we grasp at tenuous links to perceived fame...

Loosely translated as "the school magazine was out today, and I have found my picture (4x) and reference to me (2x)".

Is this where we set goals for next year??

2.5 weeks to go in this academic year, and I probably still have about 6 weeks work. Still not quite sure how I'm going to do it, but there's nothing surer than that time will pass! Somehow, too, I also have 2 massive assignments to finish, of which one is a website, so I may be brave enough to post a link, when it's done. (might.)

(or not!)

Grrr!!!

Why?
1. It's 4.52am and I'm not asleep. I got up cos I'd been not asleep for about an hour and I'm bored.
2. I just got error messages from haloscan saying I didn't have permission to access my member page.
3. Consequently comments have vanished, at the moment, anyway
4. Why not?
5. Marking exams, writing reports, budgets and reports to the Board are not things I want to be thrashing about at this time of the morning. Ever.

Review

Found this in the Herald this morning. I'm glad I'm not the only one who enjoyed it! (although that was very obvious by the demand for encore after encore, which they were kind enough to fulfill)
Most amused at this reference to the chandelier thingys I mentioned already: The giant creatures-of-the-deep-like chandeliers from the workshop of Neil's wife Sharon were certainly flash.
I must just add, tho, that I HATE the St James Theater - it has got to be the MOST uncomfortable venue in Auckland. I was on the mezzanine floor, nearish the front, wonder how close I was to the rest of the Finn clan?!

Bit of a play

Well, instead of doing 1000's of other things that were really far more necessary, I've had a bit of a play with colours and stuff. I liked one of the other templates, but I lost my other settings, so I won't play with that until I have time to fiddle properly.

Finns!!

Instead of focussing on how crap the past few weeks have been, I will go to bed tonight and relive the Finn Brothers' concert I've just come home from. They were awesome. (I can't believe I first heard them as Crowded House, in the Manawatu Sports Stadium on 14 January 1989 - according to this phenomenally detailed bio site!. They played a curious mix of Split Enz and CH, that night, from memory.. faint though it is now!!!) These guys ROCK! They could've gone on all night, and still not repeated the same song twice, although I wouldn't have minded a bit if they had. Lots of songs from the new album, but also ones from way back when I was still at school, and they were the Enz.

The backdrop/set was fantastic. They had these groovy hanging chandelier things, which, with the changes in lighting reminded me at times of:
chinese lanterns
ghost ship lights
portugese man 'o war
pin cushion
glow worms
waterfalls
Christmas decorations
orthodox lanterns
and others that I can't remember. I had a go at taking a photo with my phone, but it's really rubbish from that distance & in low light:



It was a real feast of vision and sound. Loved it.

The supporting groups were Gasoline Cowboy, who had a couple of good numbers, but I could take or leave them, and Missy Higgins, on tour with the Finns & her first time in NZ. She had just an awesome voice, and accompanied herself on either guitar or keyboard. I was impressed!! This is a wee article about her that was in the NZ Herald last week.

Sad:(

What I want to know is this. How is it possible that the most alone I feel is sometimes when I am with the person who is my closest friend? What is that about? Is it because the level of expectation of emotional support is higher, and hence the lack of any is more of a let down? Is it because the people you are closest to are the ones that have the inside knowledge and ability to hurt you the most? Is it because answering the question "what can I do do support you in this difficult time?" with specifics and appreciating the effort while it lasts (about 2 days, as a rule) becomes more difficult every time? I really don't know, but I feel quite sad.

Idolblog.com wins

Woohoo!!! Congrats to Rachel and Regan for winning the Best Youth Site award at the Netguide awards last night, for the site they set up for the first series of NZ Idol. It's grown like Topsy ever since, so that now they have 7000 registered members! You go guys!!!!

Today was Labour Day holiday - the first was in 1890, celebrating the struggle for an eight-hour working day, which allegedly NZ workers were among the first in the world to achieve. Someone forgot to tell whoever designed my current job description. I did no work today, in protest, rather than in celebration! I will of course, pay for it during the week!

This weekend also celebrates an anniversary of something else... 10 years ago on Labour Weekend, my father celebrated his last birthday. I can see him now, gaunt as he was, sitting in his wheelchair blowing out some candles on a cake. He most enjoyed the trifle, as I recall, and he did get very very tired. 10 days later, on Melbourne Cup day, he died. At one point as I was sitting in the hospital, I read a quote from Twain, in a Readers Digest, which I have often reflected on in the years since:

"What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself All day long, the mill of his brain is grinding, and his thoughts, not those other things, are his history. These are his life, and they are not written and cannot be written (or shared). Every day would make a whole book of 80,000 words--365 books a year. Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man--the biography of the man himself cannot be written."

At the time, it was very poignant, but as time has passed, I have come to understand even more deeply the truth of this statement. How much we see and think and process internally, that never gets recorded anywhere but on the inside of our minds. How much of it is forgotten 2 seconds later, and how much is retained for years and years, only to come back to the surface when we least expect it.

Having read the book John McCarthy wrote with Brian Keenan, about their travels in Chile, I'm now reading "A Ghost upon your path", in which John travels to a remote corner of Kerry, to spend some time, exploring his roots and coming to terms with his mother's death while he was a hostage in Beirut. I came across this passage last night, which had real resonance:

"The late afternoon light darkens, emphasizing my feeling of isolation. I keep the curtains open so that I can see the lights of cars on the road and of the houses across the harbour at Cromane. Many people live like this around here, I imagine. It's very hard to pin down the character of solitude. It is fickle, friendly and frightening by turns, bringing a sense of loss and good fortune almost in the same moment. Vast spaces, whether physical or emotional, can have you shouting for joy or leave you mute and cowering."

Oh dear. Another week gone by, and that tunnel just stretches on out.

On a brighter note, I went to my old school to watch a couple of year 12 plays tonight. I really enjoyed them both - the quality of drama teaching there is magnificent. One of the guys who made the video that won the national nude video competition earlier in the year got his kit off again. (to many wolf whistles from the audience.. the 14yr old members, that is, not us genteel types) School plays have certainly changed since I was in them!!!

Well.
So just when you thought there might be light at the end of the tunnel, that's about when it turns out to be a train. And this tunnel - it has no exits. Been back 3 days, and that is time enough for the work to triple. It's not a case of saying "no" to things... this is just the job, and I'm only finding out bits at a time . So glad I didn't apply for it on a permanent basis. 9 weeks and counting.

I'm ba-ack!!
Well, and how much warmer it is up here! Mind you, the 24 hours of constant and persistent rain on Monday/Tuesday weren't really that cold. Until the snow got deposited on the Tararuas, behind town, just like the picture, that is. Very pretty this morning as I was leaving. And the flight was sooooooo much smoother today. On Thursday, the whole plane clapped when we landed in Wellington - out of relief, I think - it was horrible bumpy!

A big HI to Kelli and to Pete (who linked me, how scary!!) - nice to see the readership on the up!!

One of the people I visited was my great aunt, who was 99 a month ago. She's a hoot! Gives my mum a run for her money!! I discovered she has her own online feature here... which completely cracked me up! Trust her!!!
These photos are off that site:

In summary, they think she's the oldest book recipient of the Wellington Library Housebound service. I've never known her not to be reading. She can beat me in Scrabble hands down, and unlike her, I don't even tackle the cryptic crosswords! (like to see her up against Nigel, eh Pete? I'd bet on my great aunt any day!)

Meanwhile, I continue to track my niece Carlee across Canada... She keeps scaring us with how close she gets to bears. Mind you, this bit from her latest email made me smirk (and not feel like quite such a wuss):

Haven't seen any more bears, though did see fresh prints and poo on a tramp we did. And in one campground we heard a funny huffing noise at night, so i made Dave drive me to the toilets!

Ode to Carlee:

(hee hee...)
OK, that's enough high spirits for one night. Anyone would think that I hadn't been so blonde as to have to phone the airline to find out when I was flying, since I hadn't bothered to either print my eticket, or write it down (DOH!!), or, alternatively, left my scarf in the rental car. I think I need a holiday!!!

Off to my home town for a few days....Brrrrr!

Still, it's pretty, but!

Just finished a 3 day holiday course for the Multimedia paper I'm doing (2nd to last one to finish the post grad diploma in Education Technology) - & I'm all buzzed, on creating simple VR movies, animations, morphing and generally playing about in a most geekly manner. For the first time, ever, I can remember, an assignment will be FUN!!!!! I'm scaring myself!! Next year's research paper is the one I'm dreading. How does one pick a research topic out of thin air????

COOL!!! Just bought my first "thing" in an online auction at TradeMe...

So pleased. Only 500g, which is just what I was after!

Well, it's the holidays at last. Two weeks of no students. Time to do my "intensive" 3 day course for the Diploma I am trying to finish (2 papers to go... nearly there!), and then take a trip down country to visit my Mum. She's not been well, and she's been very lonely, so it might be more me taking care of her, than the other way round, but as she is fond of saying, a change is as good as a rest! I'll be quite grateful to get back and finally have some time for myself. All 3 days of it!

I found my table today. It's been a matter of faith that it still existed - as the nearest horizontal surface to the front door, it becomes the repository of all things paper. If it had some kind of bounce mechanism, that would refuse to accept a new piece until I'd dealt with a previous piece, I'd be a lot better off! Still, it meant that there was a lot of recycling going on. AND I found stuff I actually needed, which had to be a good thing!!!

Very moving service at Graceway tonight. It was our foodbasket service, when we share food together first (literal foodbasket) and then share from our spiritual foodbasket how God has been moving in our lives. We had the triple bypass scars on view for the kids, and the wonderful testimony of encouragement on the morning of the op, through Psalm 91. We had the testimony of how the reading from "An Alien at St Wilfred's" had been an encouragement in relationship with Jesus a few weeks ago, through a particularly dark time. We heard of a 25 year old friend, who has been diagnosed with a brain tumour. We celebrated 10 years of Graceway. Tears, love, laughter. As Mark said at the end, it felt like we had been on holy ground. I'm glad for what was shared. I have felt a bit spiritually dry myself of late, and it is encouraging to me, to share in our communal time this way.

Gosh I'm tired. It's the end of the weekend, and I feel like I've been working from start to finish. In fact, it's not quite true, but I sure haven't had much time for me. Only one week till the holidays, and typically, the pressure is cranked right up. Then, after two weeks "off", it's only 10 more weeks till I can hand the extra responsibilities over. Which reminds me of the good news. We have a new Head of Faculty, yay oh yay oh yay!!! True, he won't start till January, but just having the end in sight relieves the pressure somewhat. He's Irish, but currently teaching in England, so that'll be fun... I hope he's going to be patient with us getting him to repeat everything he says till we get our ears in tune!
Meanwhile, the ankle is giving me a bit of a rest from pain, thankfully.
Must get back to work. Roll on next Saturday.. I have a massage booked to relieve me of some of the tension I know I'm going to accumulate this week!